Saying goodbye
by Pippeloen
Summary: Future fic. Sam and Andy are married when they have to make an emotional decision regarding Boo.


_A one shot I came up with, it's kind of sad though..._

_I really don't know much about animals and definitely nothing about their anatomy, so I don't know if what I've written is actually possible. Hope you'll be able to read through that._

_Little warning, this story is about an animal that is put to sleep. If you think you can't handle that, don't read it. _

_XX_

One look at the dog told Andy things were bad. Very, very bad. ''Come on buddy,'' she tried. ''You want the ball?'' Boo looked up at her, but his eyes didn't sparkle like they normally would. The dog lied down again, he was obviously in pain. Andy sat down on the floor next to the animal she came to love so much. ''It's okay buddy,'' she promised. ''We're going to take care of you.''

''Mommy,'' Lucy came running into the living room and widened her stand. ''Boo sick again?'' the four year old asked.

Andy looked up to her daughter and gave her a sad smile. ''Yeah sweetie, Boo is very sick.''

Lucy seemed to think about her next step for a minute and then let herself fall to her knees. She crawled towards the sick animal and placed a soft kiss on his head. ''Kiss it better,'' Lucy smiled.

''I wish it worked like that sweetie,'' Andy said. She gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead and reached for her cell phone. She dialled the familiar number and brought the phone to her ear. Sam picked up on the third ring.

''_I'm wrapping up here,'' _he informed her.

''Sam,'' Andy interrupted. '' It's Boo, I think it's bad.''

Sam had gotten the dog while Andy was working UC. Things between them were messy at the time. So messy that Sam wasn't even sure she would see a future with him. Still, he wanted her to know that he was serious about this. He needed to show her that he was done with his previous life, he wanted something serious.

So he got Boo.

He thought it would show Andy that he was willing to commit to something. He was willing to commit to a dog, to take care of it as best as he could.

When Andy got home from her operation, things stayed tense for a while. Boo seemed to fall in love with Andy immediately though. Sam sometimes brought Boo to the station and the dog always seemed to find Andy. One night, when Sam was working late, Andy offered to take Boo for a walk so he could stretch his legs. Sam ended up with another murder case and Andy took the dog home with her.

When Sam came to pick him up the next day, they finally made some headway. They spent the biggest part of the day talking to each other.

Really talking to each other.

In a way it was Boo that brought them together again. After that night Boo spent many nights with Andy. Every time Sam was working late, Andy would take Boo home with her. When Sam came to pick up his dog he always ended up staying.

They both love that dog.

XX

Sam made it home in twenty minutes. He crouched down next to Boo and petted him. ''Hey buddy,'' he began. ''It's okay, it's okay buddy.''

Sam looked up at Andy and he nodded at her. They both knew it was time, even though they both hated the inevitable. ''I'll call the doctor,'' Andy softly said. ''We can't let him suffer like this.''

''I know,'' Sam agreed. ''It's for the best.''

Andy made the call and came back into the living room. ''We can come around six. We'll be the last patients, so we can take our time.'' Andy sat down next to Sam and put her head on his shoulder. ''We should talk to Lucy.''

Sam rolled his eyes up to heaven and sighed. ''Yeah, we should probably do that,'' he agreed.

''You want me to do it?'' Andy asked. She knew he still had trouble dealing with feelings and talking. Sometimes they still frustrated the crap out of each other, but they were both calmer now. More balanced.

Completer.

''We'll do it together,'' Sam promised. He knew she was emotional about this. Boo was their dog. He was there for every big moment they had this time around. He was there when they agreed to give it another go. He was there when Sam proposed to Andy. He was there when Sam had to tell Andy her father wouldn't be able to give her away on their wedding day anymore. He was there when Andy spent numerous nights on the couch, mourning her father. He was there when Andy told Sam she was going to make him a father. He was there when they brought their little girl home for the first time.

Boo was a good dog, he really was.

Andy kissed Sam's hand and stood up. She whipped away a few tears and held out her hand. Sam took hers and got up too. It was hard, but they could do it.

They had each other.

''Hey Luce,'' Sam greeted his daughter. She was sitting on the floor of her bedroom, toys surrounded her. ''Come sit with mommy and me for a moment.''

Lucy looked up to her parents. She was the best of both of them. She had Andy's fire and commitment, but her father's dedication and loyalty. Even at the age of four she was already her own little person. Lucy slowly stood up and curled up next to Andy.

''Sweetie,'' Andy began. ''You know how we told you that Boo is sick?''

Lucy nodded. ''I gave him a kiss to make it better.''

''I know and I wished it worked that way sweetie, but it doesn't. Now Boo is in a lot of pain..'' Andy choked up a little and felt her heart break. Lucy loves Boo just as much as they do and how do you explain to a four year old that your dog is going away for good.

''Boo's body isn't working anymore Luce,'' Sam continued. ''He's going to die.'' Lucy's eyes widened a little, but she didn't show anything else. Of course she didn't, she didn't even understand what death meant. Sam's head was working overtime to think of how to explain this to his daughter.

''Boo is so sick that he'll leave us,'' Andy filled in.

''No,'' Lucy immediately said. ''I want Boo with us.''

''We all do,'' Sam tried. He rubbed his hand up and down Lucy's arm while Andy stroked their daughters hair. ''But Boo is so sick that he can't stay here. His body isn't working anymore and now he's in so much pain.''

''But..where will he go?'' Lucy asked

Andy looked at Sam and he nodded at her. They weren't exactly religious, but they both figured the concept of heaven would be easier to handle for Lucy. Andy actually believed there's more after this life, Sam was not so sure. Still, if that would make this easier, he would be okay with it.

''Do you remember how we told you about your grandpa and grandma?'' Andy asked. When Lucy started asking where her grandparents were, Andy had told her that Tommy was in heaven, just like Sam's mom. Claire had been around until Lucy was two, then she disappeared again. Andy was still struggling with that.

''That they went to heaven?'' Lucy guessed. ''Is Boo going there too?''

''Yeah, he is,'' Sam settled for. ''It's going to be sad for us, but it's best for him.''

''It's okay if you're sad and want to cry,'' Andy added. ''Mommy and daddy are very sad too.''

''How is he gonna go to heaven?'' Lucy asked. ''Is someone coming to pick him up?'' She sat back a little and crawled towards Sam. She had always been a daddy's girl. She settled herself in Sam's lap and he held her close.

''No,'' Andy answered. ''Boo's body will stay here and then we'll bury it. You remember when daddy took you to the cemetery?''

Lucy nodded and put her head against Sam's chest. A few weeks before she was asking questions about where people go after they die. When Sam went to the cemetery to visit Jerry's grave, he took Lucy with him. He explained as best as he could how it works. As well as you can explain that to a four year old.

''So Boo's body will be buried, but Boo won't be here anymore.'' Sam and Andy share a glance and Sam used his thumb to wipe away new tears that formed in Andy's eyes. ''Boo's doctor did everything he could Luce. Boo isn't going to get better,'' Sam added. ''But tonight Boo won't be in pain anymore. We will make sure Boo isn't scared.''

''We should say goodbye to Boo,'' Andy informed her daughter. ''He'll probably be happier if we're close to him.''

When they all reached the living room, Lucy ran towards the dog that was lying helplessly on the floor. She petted him and kissed his ear. ''I love you Boo,'' she told the dog. ''I'm very sad you're going away to heaven.''

Andy and Sam watch their daughter together. Andy leaned back against Sam's chest and closed her eyes for a moment. ''Do we take her with us?'' Sam asked.

''No,'' Andy insisted. ''I don't want her to be afraid of needles or doctors. I think it's best if we just let her say goodbye here.''

''Yeah, me too,'' Sam agreed. ''I think that's better for her.''

''Daddy,'' Lucy's voice brought him back to reality. ''If Boo goes to heaven, grandma and grandpa won't be alone. They can have Boo.''

Sam closed his eyes and lifted his daughter into his arms. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and he held her close. ''You're a smart cookie,'' he smiled sadly.

XX

Sam called Traci to ask if she could take Lucy for a little while. He explained that Boo really was too sick right now, they needed to put him out of his misery. Traci agreed to take care of Lucy for as long as needed.

Around five thirty they all headed towards the truck. Sam carried Boo because the dog was too sick to walk himself. Sam drove to Traci's house and lifted Lucy out of the car. Leo came outside to give Boo one last caress.

Leo was close to Boo as well. After Jerry's death, Sam took it on himself to be there for the Nash' family. Andy ruffled trough Leo's hair and pulled him close for a moment. The boy was too cool and old for hugs from his aunt, but for this moment he let her. ''Goodbye Boo, I love you,'' Leo whispered to the dog before walking away with tears in his eyes.

''Why can't I come too?'' Lucy whined. ''I love Boo too.''

''We know you do sweetie, but this is something that mommy and daddy have to do together, okay? Can you be really brave for us and let us go together?'' Sam asked his daughter. He knew Andy would stay with her if they felt like she needed it, but they both agreed that Lucy would be best of with Traci.

Lucy pouted for a moment and nodded. She climbed into the truck again and stroked Boo's head. ''I love you Boo, have fun in heaven.''

Andy smiled at the simplicity of her daughter. She lifted her daughter out of the truck and handed her to Traci. ''We'll be back as soon as possible,'' she promised.

XX

Andy took Lucy's place in the truck after they dropped her off. She wanted to sit with Boo. She petted the dog the entire ride and whispered to him how much they would miss him. How thankful she was for the dog.

Sam watched his wife through the mirror. He hated seeing her like this.

When they reached the veterinarian, Sam lifted Boo out of the truck for the last time. They were directed to a private room immediately and Sam lowered Boo to the table. They both spent the little time they had left to caress and pet the animal they loved so much.

Five minutes later the doctor came in and gave them a sympathetic look. ''It went faster than we anticipated, didn't it?'' the doctor asked.

They had brought in Boo six weeks before because he seemed to be in pain. He wasn't even that old, but the dog wasn't energetic anymore. What they feared came true; Boo had a tumor on one of his organs. They tried to operate, but it was too far spread.

Andy and Sam had spent numerous nights talking about the options. They agreed they didn't want Boo to suffer. They would take care of him for as long as he was doing remotely okay. As soon as his pain wouldn't go away with medicine, they agreed they would put him to sleep.

The doctor agreed with their choice, Boo would never get better.

The veterinarian explained to them how the process worked. He would first give Boo an injection that would make him calm. After that he would give him something that would let him go without any more pain.

Boo whined a little when he got the first needle. Sam and Andy both had their hands on him to keep him calm. Andy was crying freely now and Sam moved one of his arms to support her.

''Now I have to look after our two girls by myself Boo,'' Sam tried to joke. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. ''I'll take care of them, you know that.''

They stood together like that, whispering and petting, until the doctor informed them that Boo was gone. Sam pulled Andy close and she cried with her face pressed to his chest. After a few moments she took a step back. She whipped away the tears and pressed her lips to Boo's head one more time. ''Thanks for everything buddy,'' she whispered.

Sam repeated his wife's example and took her hand. ''What do we do with the body?'' Sam asked the doctor.

''We've got several options,'' the doctor informed. He laid out their options. Sam and Andy agreed it was best if Boo was buried by the clinic. Andy made the doctor promise he wouldn't use Boo's body for medical experiments, after that they said their final goodbyes.

XX

''He was a good dog,'' Andy said when they were on the road again. They had been silent for a while.

''He was,'' Sam agreed. ''He's not in pain anymore.''

''No, that's good,'' Andy agreed. ''I'm going to miss him though. We're all going to miss him.''

''Yeah,'' Sam agreed. ''But we'll be okay, because we've got each other.'' He squeezed Andy's arm and moved his hand so he could hold hers.

When they were at home again, Sam ordered a pizza for him and Andy. Neither of them was hungry, but they had to eat something. Traci had been kind enough to feed Lucy, so she was ready for the night.

While they were absently chewing on the pizza, Lucy climbed on the chair next to Andy. ''Mommy,'' she started. ''Can I make a drawing of Boo?''

Andy smiled weakly at the young girl and nodded. ''Of course,'' she responded. ''I think that's a good idea.''

''Maybe we can hang it on the refrigerator,'' Lucy continued. ''So we can never, ever forget Boo.''

''We won't,'' Sam promised. ''It's a very good idea sweetheart.''

XX

It was way past Lucy's bedtime when they finally got her into bed. Lucy broke down when Sam was helping her into her pyjamas. ''I want to give Boo a goodnight kiss,'' she demanded.

''We talked about this,'' Sam tried. ''We can't see Boo anymore sweetheart.'' Sam felt a little helpless and kissed his daughters head. Lucy started crying and Sam held her close.

Andy was watching from the doorway and stepped towards her daughters bed. They stayed with Lucy until she was asleep, after that they headed downstairs together.

It was too quiet in the house like this. Boo had been sick for a while now, so in a way they were used to the quietness. Still, it felt like it was only yesterday that Boo demanded all their attention as soon as Lucy was brought to bed.

Either Sam or Andy would always take him for a long walk while the other brought Lucy to bed. A ritual they said goodbye to over the last few weeks.

Sam laid down on the couch and pulled Andy on top of him. He let his hands roam freely over her back. Andy let out a sigh and pressed her lips to Sam's chest. ''Thanks for being such an amazing husband and father,'' she told him. ''You are so good with her.''

''So are you,'' Sam argued. ''She loves you.''

''Yeah, but she adores you,'' Andy chuckled. ''You are her hero.'' Andy laid her head back down and closed her eyes. ''And mine,'' she softly added. ''I don't know if I would have been able to handle today without you.''

''You never have to worry about that,'' Sam promised.

''We're going to miss him so much,'' Andy said after a while of silence. ''Do you remember the morning we brought Lucy home?''

Sam chuckled and kissed Andy's hair. ''Yeah, he looked at us like we were crazy for bringing home that crying creature.''

''Still, I was never afraid to leave him with her. He always was so protective over her.'' Andy and Sam never let Boo alone with Lucy while she was really little. He was a good dog, but still, animals could be unpredictable. They knew now that Boo would've never hurt Lucy.

''I was always amazed with how much he let her do to him.'' Sam closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. ''She could manhandle him all she wanted and he would just lay down and take it.''

''When I came back from my UC and saw you with him, I was so pissed at first,'' Andy admitted. ''I thought it was all one big joke to you, but then I saw how good you were with him. How much you loved him. I started trusting you again after that.'' Andy took a deep breath. ''It was the best dog ever,'' she whispered. ''Especially since we had Lucy, he was so good with her.''

''Yeah,'' Sam agreed. ''He was.''

XX

That night they found comfort in each other. Sam covered Andy's body with his own and drowned in her for just a moment. Andy gripped Sam as hard as she could, wanting him as close as humanly possible. She cried again before she fell asleep.

Sam woke up when he felt something tugging at the sheets. He opened one eye and stared straight into the brown eyes of his daughter. '"Daddy?'' she whispered.

Sam felt Andy stir next to him and looked over to his wife. Andy always was a deep sleeper, but since she had Lucy she would wake up a lot sooner. ''What's wrong?'' Sam asked.

''I miss Boo,'' Lucy answered. She climbed on top of her parents bed.

Andy felt something move and opened her eyes as well. She saw Sam holding their daughter and moved a little closer. Andy stroked Lucy's back and pressed a kiss to her head. ''It's okay Lucy, mommy and daddy are here,'' she whispered to the little girl.

''Can I sleep with you?'' Lucy asked.

Sam looked over at Andy who shrugged. Normally they wouldn't allow this, but tonight they could all use a little comfort. ''Okay,'' Sam agreed. ''One night, tomorrow you're going back to your own bed.''

Lucy nodded and crawled in between her parents. Sam and Andy's hands met on top of their daughter.

Their family lost a member today and that would be hard for the next while. Right now, they had each other and was all the comfort the Swarek family needed right now.

XX

_I really don't know about this story, but it sort of written itself.. _

_Like I already said, I don't really know much about dogs, I hope I portrayed the emotions okay. _

_Let me know how you feel. _


End file.
